We all have our flaws but some people’s are worse than others. Rather than accept them we should address them & feel more positive as a result. Your personality is not who you are, only a selection of habits you’ve adopted in your time. If something about you is dragging you down, be a different you!

I’m starting to think positively as a natural response to things.

I’m trying to help others be more positive and be peaceful with other people.

I’m trying to reject what I think are negative things and people from my life.

I’m trying to be content with my negativity, just feel it and let it pass rather than dwell on it.

But I’ve still got a long journey to go before I get this right.

January Blues

It interests me the way that people deal with shit in their head… Previously I’ve always pretty much tried to speak through music but I’m getting quite fond of using words here now too. It’s essential for me to leave all sorts of crazy riddles & hidden messages all over the place with hints to how I’m feeling, that’s my twisted little entertainment. Generally if something’s bothering me I will let those who truly care work out why on their own accord. I’ll leave the clues but they have to piece it together, it’s my defence mechanism to keep people who don’t truly care about my existence getting their nose in my business. 

If something tragic were to happen to me, I’m hoping people will be able to read and listen back as a consecutive story and say “well fuck me, he wasn’t such a mundane dude after all.” - But until the day I’m gone I don’t feel like I need to make my personal feelings too relevant. I prefer to be understated, if I’m down over something I seldom say it out loud directly. 

The fact is that I am not one to spend the day moping around in a bad way, I prefer to do the whole putting on the fake smile and battling through it all like a solider fighting for world positivity. But I’m just as fucked off as everybody else, I just don’t want to let everybody know that because then any potential opportunities to change what’s pissing me off might look at me and just repel at the negativity. 

Regardless, I’m still fixated on my “why’s” every minute of every day. My soul is in the past watching over, it’s scanning around the scenes looking for answers. This is the subconscious negativity I’ve got to learn how to battle so that I can move on from the questions that will never be answered and the things I would have liked but can never be. I’m not sure it bothers me too much having some negativity though, being too positive seems slightly boring and weird to me, the balance is nice.